Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Travelling in Texsucks

Ah, the airport life, so simple and plane. This morning I found myself here yet again, this time on my way to a conference in my favorite state, Texas (yee-haw!). Yes, Texsucks, home of that son of a Bush we Americans are forced to call our president, the sins of that Bush far too lengthy to enumerate. This is especially the case since I have been betrayed by my laptop battery and am scratching this down by hand. If ever I manage to make out this scribbly scram I will type it in later. This is bound to be a very short post.

A few moments ago on the plane the captain decided to narrate for a bit: “Good morning, welcome aboard, etc. etc. We just passed Lancaster Pennsylvania. To the right you’ll see blah, blah, blah and to the left etceterblah, etceterblah.” Funny how “near Lancaster Pennsylvania” looks exactly like any other town that is completely hidden under a thick layer of clouds to both the right and the left. Maybe he pulled one over on us. Perhaps we were really near Pittsburg and this could be a bit straight out of classic cockpittsburg comedy.

Forced by ol’ captain guy chattin’ to give up on reading over my conference documents, I shall report to you in simulpest: “Good news, folks, because lately the wind patterns have been different than usual, we will arrive on time despite our late departure.”

I will no doubt fondly remember this kind meteorological service rendered to me some day in the perhaps-not-so-distant future when my home is underwater and I am swimming to the Adirondacks. But the media will of course be pessimistically biased, as is currently the case with the war in Iraq and will likely soon be the case with the war in Iran as well. Just as now in their deplorably sensationalist zeal the media only report the bad news (the daily bombings and raging murderous sectarian violence) and never speak of any of the good news (like the Administration’s prediction that with no electricity to power televisions and the mortal danger of walking the streets and markets, large homebound sectors of the population will largely turn to books such that we will soon witness soaring literacy rates) they will no doubt focus on the aquatic exodus of drowning New Yorkers without even mentioning all of the delayed flights that had been able to reach their destinations on time thanks to the very same alterations in weather patterns and that have allowed me to so conveniently travel around Texsucks.


Robert said...

The Way Things Aren’t Anymore.

At the age of nine I was made a member of the BOAC Junior Jet Club. We had a very smart little log book which looked like a passport which the Captain of the aeroplane filled in each time we flew somewhere. I was always invited to visit the flight deck too.

Needless to say I grew a passion for aeroplanes.

The first time my younger daughter flew on her own I told her to ask the stewardess if she would be allowed to visit the flight deck, of course this was before the 11th September. She had a ball and asked the same question on the way back.

I once flew home from Africa in a Pan Am Boeing 707, there were only four passengers, three of my friends and me (aged 20). The Stewardess (pl) invited us to stay on board and fly home to Pennsylvania with them, sounded wonderful. The Pilot flew properly, he threw it around the sky like it was a fighter plane. It was a lot of fun and he was showing off. When we arrived at Heathrow there were no proper steps to get off so we had one of those railing jobs to climb down, the pilot thought that very funny.

These days I still have that buzz when I see a plane on the ground.

Space is a bit of a premium here these days. I hate the underground in the rush hour when it is so packed you can’t move. Now that aeroplanes are nearly full each time you fly it must feel a bit claustrophobic.

Well we are well versed over here in the oil state of America, JR saw to that. Those hats must take up a lot of space but then space in not an issue I suppose in Texas. Might cause some problems in the underground- though you probably don’t need one in Dallas!

Blue Genes said...

If only they had an underground. In Texas it's all about huge polluting SUVs and trucks.

Sounds like you and your friends didn't end up in Pennsylvania. Or did you? That would explain your love of airplanes more than anything else, I bet!

Robert said...

Umm well, no sadly I don't think we would have been allowed to stay on board somehow, but it was a nice invitation! I am sure I should know what a SUV is. I England there is “The Chelsea Tractor” which is a four wheeled drive vehicle like a jeep or Range Rover; the Chancellor has upped the tax on them a lot recently.

Blue Genes said...

Yeah, an SUV is that kind of thing. It stands for "sports utility vehicle" but dumb Americans drive them anywhere and everywhere for all(or rather no) purpose.